Thankful Thursday: writing grace into the dust

*blows dust off the microphone, runs a Swiffer across the floor*

Mercy me, I've really neglected my blog! Not for lack of interest, please trust me on this. I've been missing you like crazy, and am craving your companionship. It's just that…well, let's just say that I'm experiencing a bit of blogger's fatigue (Nathan Bransford posed a question about that last week–did you happen to read it?).  Oh, and wrote about acedia this morning…maybe I've got a touch of that, too.

Don't you worry, I'm still pouring myself into WITNESS! Still and all, my blog and my manuscript are intertwined. One feeds the other, and so it is that I'm sensing the emptiness, I'm breathing the dust.

I suspect it's borne of my tendency to put too much pressure on myself. It comes of expecting perfection–too much, too soon!–and then going all wide-eyed and vacant stares, like the frightened rabbits in Watership Down. This sporatic blogging is but a symptom of a deeper issue–I've not given up, but I've given in.

 I'm a work in progress, so hey, there's bound to be dust! And so it is that on this Thankful Thursday, I find myself away the debris–the damage and detritus of false expectations–and replacing it with grace. And I'm asking you to help me, to guide and encourage me, as you see fit.

Whew, this entry was difficult to write!! And likely, it was a little bit wince-worthy at your end, as well. Thanks for reading. xoxo. Now, what say we pour ourselves a cuppa? We can talk about the weather, our writing, things of great and/or minor importance. Or maybe we'll just savor our tea and enjoy each other's company. Less doing, more being. Let's take load off, shall we? Please, pull up a chair…

  1. I call on you to channel your inner Bigwig, Melodye. You’re strong and will not give in.

    I’m settling in with my project and raise my Nalgene bottle in solidarity. Write on, friend.

  2. I feel the same way. I feel like my entries these days mainly consist of fun photos these days, which I love sharing, but in terms of more meaningful posts, I’ve been tapped out lately. I’ve reached that point where I’m struggling to balance family life and work life and all things creative, which happens from time to time, but I would really, really love to pull myself out of this now. And I’m not quite sure how, but I know I need to. Which is making me rethink things, professionally, but at the same time, I work from home three days a week, so what do I have to complain about, right? πŸ™‚ That is what I remind myself, anyway.

    It is so good to see you, and I am thrilled that you are pouring yourself into WITNESS. I am cheering for you! *Passes coffee*

    • I truly enjoy your photos–they’re fun glimpses/passageways into your life. I’ve been posting a lot of photographs, too. And I’ve felt twinges of guilt about doing it…go figure. It’s my blog, and my entries have always been about the ideas/things that catch my eye or suit my fancy. So WHY NOT include images as well as words? They’re complementary & interchangeable, at least in my mind, and I don’t know how or when I (we?) got to thinking that my pictures were poor substitutes for words. Harumph. πŸ™‚

      xo

  3. Dust in California? Come out here but you had better have a mask on and have a lot of stamina because the dust bowl days are back. Check out my blog and see if you remember seeing anything like it while traveling around Texas. Maybe you need a shot of Lula Bells home made brew. That will cut just about anything. Now back to the writing but always stop to enjoy Gods beauty all around.

    • LOL, I think I’d choke on that Texas-style crop of dust. So much of it…I hope the rains come very soon. Meantime, pass me a pint o’ that brew. πŸ™‚

      (Hey, did you ever watch the Dustbowl portion of that TV mini-series, Centennial? Some of the scariest stuff I’ve ever seen.)

  4. Always glad to see you here, Melodye. And boy, do I know how that drive for perfection can ruin a perfectly good day. Much better to pour a cup of tea and enjoy each other’s company!

    • You, too?!? Whew, and thank you! I have to admit that this makes me feel a whole lot better. Not in a misery-loves-company kind of way, of course. More like, “Oh, she’s working through it, and so can I. Follow the leader, let’s each take a turn…

  5. I absolutely understand where you’re coming from, m’lad. I do hope to see you back around sooner rather than later but take all of the time away that you need. We’re not going anywhere and we’re always so thrilled to see you pop up when you do! Sounds like you have a lot going on inside and out… just be good to you and take care of yourself, my friend. *HUGS*

    • Oh, Kevin, lol!!! I burst out laughing when I saw your icon. Hilarious! And your comment is so very kind, and very much appreciated.

      Hey, if it just so happens (!) that you find yourself out and about in the Santa Monica area today, please stop by the Barnes and Noble ( 3rd Street Promenade). A handful of co-contributors & I are taking part in a DEAR BULLY book event at 2:00….I would love, Love, LOVE to see you there. xoxo

      http://store-locator.barnesandnoble.com/event/3114655

  6. *waves frantically*
    Hi, Melodye!

    I’m so proud of you for pouring yourself into WITNESS. I thought of you yesterday when I heard a Fresh Air segment about someone whose mother participated in intense evangelical healing sessions, etc. No idea if it jibes with your experiences, but I was happy for an excuse to send you a good thought.

    No wincing. I feel like pretty much everything I do is wince-worthy lately, and less doing and more being seems like just the ticket…

  7. I’m thankful for your blog posts, whenever the inspiration strikes you. I wish I were brave enough to share my thoughts & experiences like so many of you writers out here in LJ-land do so eloquently, day after day. Less doing, less WORRYING (in my case), and more being. Cheers to that. πŸ™‚

    • Thanks so much for your very kind words. I’m a kumbaya kind of person, so for me, anyway, it’s incredibly helpful–healing–to know (and sense!) that I’m not alone in my thoughts & feelings. That we’re able to share the ups and downs, the worrying AND the being…for those reason and so many more, I’m glad that we’ve become friends.

      *raises pinky finger, clinks tea cup with yours* CHEERS!

  8. Glad to here from you and that you are working on the book still. I am dying to read it!
    I haven’t been blogging either. Thinking about writing is not writing. Gets me depressed and afraid and I have to put one foot in front of the other just to get through the day. When we were just back from Maine, October 2nd, I had to finish my taxes and then went to California for a week to a retreat for combat vets and their spouses, which was great, but distracting, and then this week the dentist (teeth cleaning) and the doctor (annual checkup) and nothing, nothing, nothing written.
    Expecting perfection, exactly. I should be able to do all these things and write. Luckily I made up a recovery slogan for myself. “Everything after the word should is bullsh*t.”

    • Thinking about writing is not writing

      Boy howdy, you got that right! It takes discipline & endurance, doesn’t it? I’m working on both.

      Glad you’ve made it through your obstacle course. Ready, set…let’s get to writing! πŸ™‚

  9. Oh I hear you…loud and clear! So glad to see your smiling face again around here. I’m making my way back to blogging again too and hope to be more consistent but my life is so busy that this is a hard habit to get back to. But I’m going to try!

    I agree that the sporadic blogging is a symptom of a bigger issue. For me, one thing I’ve found is that when I get more involved with people in real life, there is less time for the blogging community. And for me I think that’s because I was drawn to blogging like a water cooler at work because I was so needy for people, for conversation. Now that I get some of that in real life, I am less needy. It doesn’t make the blogging community less important to me but it does affect the amount of time I can give it because whether in real life or online, a lot of people equals a lot of noise and I can only take so much of it.

    • Susan, I’m glad you’re blogging again…I learn so much, grow so much…smile so much when I read your entries. But I well understand the need to do it for yourself, on your own time table. Life has a way of sorting things out, of nudging our priorities onto center stage. XOXO and πŸ˜€

  10. I have a feeling there are lots of us with blog fatigue. Is it a trend or something more permanent? We’ll just have to see.

    Twitter, though? Not for me, at least not now. As it is, I can barely keep up with blogs & FB, not to mention my writing.

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