The Unkindest Cut

My hair-raising story, ala Laura Bower’s BEAUTY SHOP FOR RENT contest, proves that the Power of Positive Thinking is sometimes a big ol’ pile o’ hooey. 

A few years ago When I was twenty, I dreamed about shortening my lackluster, shoulder-length locks into an airy, Princess Di ‘do. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense: no one would notice my new braces if I had a fresh hairstyle to distract their attention. That’s what I tearfully explained to those who asked me later, “What the heck were you thinking???”

Like most recent college grads, I was short on cash, so I ventured — for the first and very last time — into my neighborhood SuperCuts. (Need I say more?) Before I had time to explain the look I wanted, a scissors-wielding maniac spun me away from the mirror, grabbed a handful of hair, and chopped it into a senseless mess of short layers. I watched in horror as she unceremoniously dumped my shorn locks into the trash. Without waiting for a blowdry, I skulked out of the beauty shop, my dreams dashed and my self-esteem (temporarily) crushed. 

Don’t say I didn’t warn you…scary picture behind the [hair]cut:

78 Comments

  1. Nope, sorry, you did not scare me. You are adorable! Granted, it is not Di’s do, but you’re cute! One thing I have to admit, I like your eyebrows better in today’s photos. πŸ˜‰

    • How ’bout those braces peeking out from between my upper and lower lips, in that pretend smile? Hey, thanks for the compliment. Those eyes were all I had going for me that day. πŸ™‚

  2. I’ve seen baaaad haircuts and THAT is not as bad as you think. You look like a younger Drew Barrymore there. Poor Lady Diana. Her death still haunts me. She did have gorgeous hair. No one could replicate that look. (And now you know why the stylist laughs when I hand her a photo of Cindy Crawford’s/Christy Brinkley’s hair and say: GIVE ME THAT.) ;>

    My dad came with me once to get my hair and bangs trimmed. I had lonnnng, straight hair and I was asking for the “Farrah”/wings look that was the rage of the day. Of course it was never going to work out right and what I left with was less hair chopped in weird angles… and one very upset, sobbing father. {}

    • I’d give it 3-outta-four a’s, as in Baaad.

      Sad story about that trim job. Whoo boy, I’ll bet most of us can relate. But your FATHER was sobbing? Wow; he had a lot of emotion invested in Daddy’s Little Girl!

      Loved the b’day gifts the Universe gave you yesterday, by the way. πŸ™‚

    • A lot of people have told me that. My husband told me that Barbara Mandrell represented his dream date (looks wise, anyway). How’s THAT for manifesting the Laws of Attraction. πŸ™‚

  3. Wow. Okay, can I say, your face has not changed much in 30 years–what moisturizer do you use (Vampire blood?!)? Whatever it is I need to be using it. Or maybe it is just good genes. πŸ™‚ I concur with the majority who say the haircut is cute. I especially like the sides, not as crazy about the bangs and eyebrows. Super cute overall though! And you had me expecting scary. I should have known better than to underestimate a fellow woman’s toughness on herself…

    • LOL. For what it’s worth, I always use Neutrogena moisturizer, the kind that includes 30 SPF sunscreen, winter and summer. I think that helps.

      I’m amazed by how many of you say it’s a good look. I was HORRIFIED! You may be right, though, that we’re harder on our selves than other people are.

  4. Melodye! That’s just plain overall CUTE. Now you have me wondering whether I have any pictures of my worst hair ever…

    I would have been about 22 (I think…) I was working as the only ‘female voice’ on a Black (R&B) Radio Station. One of the other Disk Jockey’s wife was a stylist, who offered to do a hair ‘make over’ for me. Problem was, she didn’t tell me until after the fact that she’d never done Caucasian hair, before.

    The cut was ok…but the first perm she put on didn’t take, the second one (applied at the same sitting…) fried my hair, and within two weeks it had all broken off 2 inches from the scalp. What remained had the texture of Black hair. Let’s just say that a genuine ‘fro’ doesn’t look good on a chubby white girl.

    On second thought…if any of ‘those’ pictures ever surface – I’m gonna burn ’em.

  5. Melodye! That’s just plain overall CUTE. Now you have me wondering whether I have any pictures of my worst hair ever…

    I would have been about 22 (I think…) I was working as the only ‘female voice’ on a Black (R&B) Radio Station. One of the other Disk Jockey’s wife was a stylist, who offered to do a hair ‘make over’ for me. Problem was, she didn’t tell me until after the fact that she’d never done Caucasian hair, before.

    The cut was ok…but the first perm she put on didn’t take, the second one (applied at the same sitting…) fried my hair, and within two weeks it had all broken off 2 inches from the scalp. What remained had the texture of Black hair. Let’s just say that a genuine ‘fro’ doesn’t look good on a chubby white girl.

    On second thought…if any of ‘those’ pictures ever surface – I’m gonna burn ’em.

  6. Aw, so cute. That haircut’s not even that bad. And those eyes… gorgeous.

    I’ve gotta see if I can find the childhood pic of me with the lioness perm and enter that contest!

    • Aw, now there’s that Power of Positive Thinking, working on my behalf. Thanks, Sacha!

      Yes, you should totally enter the contest. It’s fun to share our war stories, isn’t it? Everyone can relate… πŸ™‚

    • Aw, now there’s that Power of Positive Thinking, working on my behalf. Thanks, Sacha!

      Yes, you should totally enter the contest. It’s fun to share our war stories, isn’t it? Everyone can relate… πŸ™‚

  7. I’m also diggin’ the baby blues, Melodye! I’m sure that they dazzled everyone to the point that they didn’t notice the haircut (which, I must say, is not that bad at all!).

  8. I’m also diggin’ the baby blues, Melodye! I’m sure that they dazzled everyone to the point that they didn’t notice the haircut (which, I must say, is not that bad at all!).

      • Thanks. I was sufficiently traumatized from my own years of Lil’ Orphant Annie curls and micro-bangs that I have only let a stylist at it once in the last 15 years or so…
        Nothing like DIY to give you that sense of control.
        And long hair is easier to deal with.

  9. You–adorable. The cut–well, okay . . . not so adorable. πŸ˜‰ I once had the same exact cut in the 80’s after a stylist did the same scissor-wielding trick, but oddly, I got a ton of compliments for it. From guys even! (Then again, it was the 80’s!)

    Thanks so much for sharing this!

  10. OK, I’ve seen worse cuts (I’ve had them myself, but I’d never–gulp–post PICS, LOL) but all you needed there was a lot of MOUSSE, baby, MOUSSE! And a blow-dry-brush-thingy, whatever you call them.

    But you DO have the most gorgeous eyes, Mel! So who’d even notice the hair??

    • Ha ha ha! It’s easier to post pictures long after the tragic moment’s behind you. Er, or at least by a year or two. Ahem.

      I don’t even think people used mousse back then, did they? Or, um, maybe you wouldn’t know… πŸ˜‰

      • It seems like I’ve been using it forever, but the earliest patent date I can find is 1988, so…hmm. What the heck DID we use before that?

        Oh, yeah. Frickin’ ROLLERS!!!!

  11. oh my! but you do look so cute πŸ™‚ – kind of like the early Di – when she was still a kindergarten teacher…maybe that’s what the manic hairstylist had in mind??

    I had one trip to Supercuts. In the mid-90’s, I was given a Dorothy Hamill haircut – two decades too late. It was awful, since then, I’ve been cutting my own hair.

  12. oh my! but you do look so cute πŸ™‚ – kind of like the early Di – when she was still a kindergarten teacher…maybe that’s what the manic hairstylist had in mind??

    I had one trip to Supercuts. In the mid-90’s, I was given a Dorothy Hamill haircut – two decades too late. It was awful, since then, I’ve been cutting my own hair.

  13. Aw! Like someone else said, I was expecting super-scary hair when I clicked behind the cut, but it actually looks really nice and flouffy. I love the sides. Your story reminds me of when I was 10 (or so) and I had a mall haircut. I don’t remember what I asked for or even if I did, since I was still horrifically shy then, but I came out with my hair shorn in a pixie cut. For someone who had never gone shorter than a bob, all I saw was that my hair was short like a boy’s, and I burst out crying in the middle of the mall.

    Funny thing is, I got my hair cut in exactly the same way five years later and liked it. πŸ™‚ Hi there, by the way. I’ve seen you commenting at different blogs before and have popped in now and again. ^_^

    • You’re too kind. :))

      Glad you stopped by and introducted yourself, T. I took a peek at your blog, too, btw — fun stuff and well-written! Hope to see you ’round these parts again (and again).

      I’ve added you to my f-list; feel free to add me back, if you’d like.

  14. Aw! Like someone else said, I was expecting super-scary hair when I clicked behind the cut, but it actually looks really nice and flouffy. I love the sides. Your story reminds me of when I was 10 (or so) and I had a mall haircut. I don’t remember what I asked for or even if I did, since I was still horrifically shy then, but I came out with my hair shorn in a pixie cut. For someone who had never gone shorter than a bob, all I saw was that my hair was short like a boy’s, and I burst out crying in the middle of the mall.

    Funny thing is, I got my hair cut in exactly the same way five years later and liked it. πŸ™‚ Hi there, by the way. I’ve seen you commenting at different blogs before and have popped in now and again. ^_^

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