Traveling both sides of the highway

Later this morning, I’m going to take a walk in the Garden of Angels. At long last, I’m laying to rest an unspeakable tragedy, a family secret that’s haunted me for decades. No doubt, this will be an intensely emotional day.

 

Seen through a purely craft-oriented lens, today will tie beautiful satin ribbons of closure around one of my main plotlines. It’s a healing salve for the horrific wounds my characters have suffered.

 

But I’m writing a memoir, not fiction, so it’s impossible for me to view this experience from such an objective vantage point. It’s is a first-draft passage from my personal narrative, authentic and unfinished.    

 

I’ve been awake for several hours, thinking about this long-imagined day. And as the darkness finally gives way to dawn, I’m realizing just how impossible it really is to “write what you know,” when each day offers unexpected blessings and unimagined possibilities, this journey among them. I’m flying by the seat of my pants, even though I’m as familiar as any writer could possibly be with the main character and her unfolding story. 

58 Comments

  1. {{{HUGS!!}}

    Holding you in my thoughts — that today, your writing releases and heals this part of your life =)

    be gentle wih yourself when you need to — take care of the ‘child you’ through this process.

    Do something comforting when you’re finished

    {{{{{MORE HUGS!!!}}}

    • Today the heavy burden I’ve been carrying for many years was lifted off my shoulders. Thank you for your part in making that happen.

      Afterwards, we played. It was the perfect day all around.

      I so appreciate your hugs and thoughts.

  2. I think it takes amazing courage to ‘write what you know’…my thoughts and prayers are with you as you take this next step! (I’m very impressed, btw.)

  3. When I read your post, I thought of the song that goes something like this,” I’ve got to walk that lonesome valley”. Rest assured that although your are walking that lonesome valley, you are not by yourself. Many are there with you in spirit. When you exit that place, you will find your friends waiting for you. Texas,as big as it is,cannot hold all of them. Waiting and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    • Oh yes, PapaDan, that song’s it, exactly!

      I really do feel I’m surrounded by forces of good, including all of my friends here on LJ. You included.

      I’m so grateful for your ongoing support and good thoughts. Good luck tomorrow, by the way. It’ll all be behind you (heh) sooner than you realize. 🙂

  4. Wow, such powerful words! I’m thinking of you as you take this intense and important next step in your journey. Also, in the back of my mind I can’t help but think these posts would make an amazing magazine article about the process of writing (your) memoir.

    • Someday you and I will talk about all this on the Seattle waterfront. For now, I hope you know that I appreciate your thinking of me today. I felt your supportive presence on my journey.

    • Do you realize how hilariously ironic your icon is today? Soul enchiladas in a cemetery. 🙂 Thanks for all the ways you make me smile, on pupose and unintentional. xo

    • Thank you, Liz. There’s not much better in the world than a mountain range of squeeze-tight hugs!!

      I loved your clown picture by the way. How can you help but smile when you see it?! 🙂

  5. Wow. Thank you for the link, incredible videos that accompanied it, and the touching post. Hugs. With each experience you share, you will strengthen and heal not only yourself but others.

  6. It takes an amazing amount courage to write what you know My thoughts and prayers are with you as you travel down that road.

    Never forget that we are all here for you!

    (((HUGS)))

  7. You’re a very tough, very courageous woman, Melodye. To confront the past and be able to lay it to rest is a strength not many people possess. I admire you for that.

    May you find peace, balance and healing. My thoughts and heart are with you as you walk this path.

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