Wrong Genes for These Jeans

According to this morning’s LA Times, denim stretched super tight across your behind is once again front page fashion news. How tight? Really tight – in a Brooke Shields, nothing-comes-between-me-and-my-Calvins kind of way.

These are essentially updated ’80s leggings, a recycled trend with a denim twist. And though the designers won’t tell you, your common sense no doubt will: These jeans are probably best suited for a very narrow (forgive the pun) market. 

I’m not sure how this fad will play out in Peoria, but considering global diversity in, er, assets, I can already visualize how slight differences in hip and leg measurements will make huge differences in interpreting this fit. Don’t make me look. 

The thought of denim as compression garment for one’s legs and nether regions is, well, depressing. So while trend-spotters gush over tight white jeans for the men folk and purple drainpipe denim for women, you can definitely color me disinterested.

With regard to my wallet and this season’s It jeans, check it: I’m checking out.

32 Comments

  1. I predict that soon you will want to gouge out your eyes, because having a little too much junk in the trunk (and chassis and under the hood) hasn’t stopped people from wearing low-rise jeans when they shouldn’t.

  2. EW!

    Ew! I have yet to see these jeans, but it sounds disgusting. I think I can live with teenagers in tight jeans–it has to be better than all those bellies hanging out. But, let’s hope that those of us who are older and more…uh, curvy…stick to appropriate attire.

  3. The upside is that Newsweek reports low-rise jeans are going out of fashion. Perhaps there’s a happy medium for those of us who are not twelve.

    (Of course, I can’t wait for the return of huge sweaters over leggings with ruffled socks and ankle boots…not!)

  4. Oh, you are stronger than me.

    I want those Christopher Blue jeans from Nordstroms that cost 150. I probably won’t succumb to pressure though, so you can still say you know me without being embarressed (G)

    • Tight jeans exert the kind of pressure I don’t want — and certainly don’t need! (But if I see you wearing ’em, I promise I won’t cross to the other side of the street.)

  5. First, the writing in this post is so sharp! I love it. 🙂

    So I’m from Greece, a culture where older, heavier women will sometimes go ahead and wear tight clothing that looks better on teens… and where some guy will go ahead and yell at them, “Hey, grandma, couldn’t you have left those jeans in the store for some hottie to buy?”… and where the woman will go ahead and yell back that they think they look great and he must be going blind from… certain activities. My point (I do have one…) is that I see the US turning more in that direction. Americans always used to be all demure and tasteful, “Oh, no, tight sexy body conscious clothes are for teenagers and sluts! I could never… I’m thirty and five pounds overweight.” But now? As people get heavier and struggle for body acceptance, I predict we’ll be seeing a lot of muffin-tops and maybe even scarier stuff.

    I’m as much for for body acceptance as the next person, but I’m very confused as to which attitude to take on this. 🙂

    • Opa! I’m all about body acceptance, through thickness and thin. But as with some of my opinions, I think it’s wisest to keep certain (body) views to myself.

      Thanks so much for the compliment, btw; it meant a lot to me. You put a million bucks in my back pocket… Good thing there’s room. LOL.

  6. ROFLAO. I hadn’t seen the skit before, but I’ve certainly seen my share of Mom Jeans in real life. GAH and blech!

    I like low rise jeans, too…no nine-inch zipper for me! Hold the muffin top, though.

  7. i’m definitely colored ‘disinterested’ as well. jeans and me are not very good friends as it is, so my butt will never see jeans like this.

    Eileen

  8. Anonymous

    Howcome most people are extremely wrong on the subject off shoes and the reasons why you will have t

    The fundamental principles of the shoes that you could benefit of starting off today. [url=http://www.shoesjp.biz/new-balance【ニューバランス】-c-670.html]ニューバランス キッズ[/url] The actual reason why the whole thing you might have find out about shoes is almost certainly wrong and what you need to learn. [url=http://www.shoesjp.biz/nike【ナイキ】-c-634.html]ナイキ ランニングシューズ[/url] A quick study demonstrates to you the inner workings on shoes and consequently the thing that you want to execute right away. [url=http://www.kutujp.biz/]アディダス[/url] Hot shoes Guide Uncovers Easy Methods To Dominate The sneakers Marketplace [url=http://www.kutujp.biz/アディダス-adidas-c-4.html]adidas[/url] As to why all things you might have find out about sneakers is actually entirely wrong and what you should learn. [url=http://www.kutujp.biz/アシックス-asics-c-3.html]アシックス[/url] An excellent fix for sneakers that one could explore as we speak. [url=http://www.kutujp.biz/ナイキ-nike-c-13.html]ナイキ ランニングシューズ[/url] Recent write-up reveals the concept on the shoes and as well , the reasons why you will need to take action this afternoon. [url=http://www.kutujapan.org/]アシックス[/url] Advanced shoes Ebook Explains Simple Tips To Dominate The shoes Market [url=http://www.kutujapan.org/adidas-アディダス-c-74.html]アディダス[/url] Great new sneakers E-book Uncovers A Way To Dominate The shoes Arena [url=http://www.kutujapan.org/new-balance-ニューバランス-c-13.html]ニューバランス 574[/url] Whatever the researchers are never mentioning in regards to shoes and ways it has effects on you actually. [url=http://www.kutujapan.org/nike-ナイキ-c-78.html]nike[/url] The reason most people are extremely wrong in relation to shoes and as a result the reasons why you really should ought to see this ebook.

  9. Anonymous

    Buy Replica replica Christian Louboutin Dark Brown Tortoise Shell Print 150 Peep Toe

    Our sites:
    1. [url=http://a-bed.net/]louboutin[/url]
    2. [url=http://ajaabney.com/]christian louboutins fake[/url]
    3. [url=http://clououtlet.biz/]fake christian louboutins[/url]
    4. [url=http://atkmarket.com/]wholesale replica[/url]

  10. Anonymous

    Buy Replicas Christian Louboutin replica Rollerball Studded Leopard Sneakers

    Our sites:
    1. [url=http://a-bed.net/]shoes from christian louboutin[/url]
    2. [url=http://ajaabney.com/]christian louboutin outlet[/url]
    3. [url=http://atkmarket.com/]shoes for less[/url]

  11. Anonymous

    Buy Replica CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SPACER MENS FLAT SNEAKERS

    Hello users of this Web Site of newport2newport.livejournal.com. I would like to introduce you to our new web shop, cheap replica brands direct from China.
    Purchase goods direct from China http://clououtlet.biz/ – offering muitple products, also offering delivery services purchased anywhere in the world. For retail customers clououtlet.biz – it is an opportunity to buy cheap goods from China, we have created a catalog of extensive directory of links to our stores on this page. If you are interested in wholesale supply of Chinese products, the managers clououtlet.biz can assist with finding a suitable product, direct from the factory and ordered to your doorstep.

    An important factory is that clououtlet.biz – it’s not juse the site of goods from china, the company is headquarted in Guangzhou. Wholesale clients have a unique opportunity to go directly to the producers, without the middle men involved.
    Own office in china, this guarantees you the security of the transactions, and our ensures applied to borth wholesale and retail customers.

    Sometimes, potential buyers do not know where or how to find a product that meets one or another specific needs. In such situations, you can contact us and we shall find the product which you are looking for.

    We will find you any pair of shoes of any brand!

    Below we will provide one of the samples of our products

    Hi users this website newport2newport.livejournal.com, yesterday user under the name Kine asked me to report trendy novelty Christian Louboutin. So finally found the time to do this, please do not remove administrators, and moved to the appropriate section if I’m wrong)))

    [b]Shoes CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SPACER MENS FLAT SNEAKERS, price[/b] [color=darkgreen][b]$150.00[/b][/color].
    [b]If you liked CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SPACER MENS FLAT SNEAKERS, click the “I want to buy” below to find out where it is most advantageous to buy shoes brand Cheap Replica Christian Louboutin
    [/b]

    [url=http://clououtlet.org/christian-louboutin-sneakers/christian-louboutin-spacer-mens-flat-sneakers.html][img]http://clououtlet.org/image/cache/data/img/201203161117132825-500×500.jpg[/img][/url]
    [url=http://clououtlet.org/christian-louboutin-sneakers/christian-louboutin-spacer-mens-flat-sneakers.html][img]http://clououtlet1.com/but.png[/img][/url]

    Category: [b]Christian Louboutin Sneakers[/b]
    Brand: [b]Cheap Replica Christian Louboutin
    [/b]
    Tags product: [b]CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN SPACER MENS FLAT SNEAKERS, Christian Louboutin, Christian Louboutin Sneakers, replica christian louboutin, christian louboutin replica, christian louboutin outlet, christian louboutin sale, christian louboutin shoes outlet, replica christian louboutin shoes, cheap louboutin outlet, christian louboutin fake, christian louboutin shoes sale, cheap christian louboutin shoes sale, cheap louboutin sale, christian louboutin knockoff, christian louboutin, louboutin shoes outlet, christian louboutin outlet online, louboutin, louboutin or, christianlouboutin, shoes christian louboutin, shoes by christian louboutin, shoes from christian louboutin, where can i get christian louboutin shoes, outlet louboutin, christian louboutin red shoes, red christian louboutin shoes, fake christian louboutins, christian louboutins fake, red louboutin[/b]

    See more [url=http://clououtlet.org/christian-louboutin-sneakers/christian-louboutin-spacer-mens-flat-sneakers.html]Fake shoes[/url]

    And here are the keywords for which people seek Replica Christian Louboutin
    :
    – buy [b]Imitation Christian Louboutin
    [/b]
    – order [b]Best Imitation Christian Louboutin
    [/b]
    – price [b]Fake Christian Louboutin
    [/b]
    – online store [b]Best Imitation Christian Louboutin
    [/b]
    – [b]Fake Christian Louboutin
    [/b]
    – [b]Best Imitation Christian Louboutin
    [/b]
    – [b]Replica Christian Louboutin
    [/b] copy
    – online store [b]Cheap Replica Christian Louboutin
    [/b] UK
    – online store [b]Imitation Christian Louboutin
    [/b] USA

    Dear administration, please do not delete this topic.
    For posting this topic, we are ready to pay the price, depending on the popularity of your website.
    You can contact us on our website under “Contact Us”
    Promo-code: #USRALIS88-DEBIL-VGHFOLOLO7765BFG4

  12. Anonymous

    Buy Best replica Christian Louboutin Rolling Spikes Loafers Caraibes

    [b]Shoes Christian Louboutin Rolling Spikes Loafers Caraibes, price[/b] [color=darkgreen][b]$134.99[/b][/color].
    [b]If you liked Christian Louboutin Rolling Spikes Loafers Caraibes, click the “I want to buy” below to find out where it is most advantageous to buy shoes brand Cheap Replica Christian Louboutin
    [/b]

    [url=http://a-bed.net/christian-louboutin-loafers/christian-louboutin-rolling-spikes-loafers-caraibes.html][img]http://a-bed.net/image/cache/data/img/christian-louboutin000000828-500×500.jpg[/img][/url]
    [url=http://a-bed.net/christian-louboutin-loafers/christian-louboutin-rolling-spikes-loafers-caraibes.html][img]http://seopower.su/but.png[/img][/url]

    Category: [b]Christian Louboutin Loafers[/b]
    Brand: [b]Best replicas Christian Louboutin
    [/b]
    Tags product: [b]Christian Louboutin Rolling Spikes Loafers Caraibes, Christian Louboutin, Christian Louboutin Loafers, replica christian louboutin, christian louboutin replica, christian louboutin outlet, christian louboutin sale, christian louboutin shoes outlet, replica christian louboutin shoes, cheap louboutin outlet, christian louboutin fake, christian louboutin shoes sale, cheap christian louboutin shoes sale, cheap louboutin sale, christian louboutin knockoff, christian louboutin, louboutin shoes outlet, christian louboutin outlet online, louboutin, louboutin or, christianlouboutin, shoes christian louboutin, shoes by christian louboutin, shoes from christian louboutin, where can i get christian louboutin shoes, outlet louboutin, christian louboutin red shoes, red christian louboutin shoes, fake christian louboutins, christian louboutins fake, red louboutin[/b]

    Hi webmasters of newport2newport.livejournal.com. I would like to introduce you to our new web shop, cheap replica brands direct from China.
    Purchase goods direct from China – offering multiple products, also offering delivery services purchased anywhere in the world. For retail customers – it is an opportunity to buy cheap goods from China, we have created a catalog of extensive directory of links to our stores on this page. If you are interested in wholesale supply of Chinese products, the managers clououtlet.biz can assist with finding a suitable product, direct from the factory and ordered to your doorstep.

    An important factor is that – it’s not just the site of goods from china, the company is headquarted in Guangzhou. Wholesale clients have a unique opportunity to go directly to the producers, without the middle men involved.
    Own office in china, this ensures you the security of the transactions, and our ensures applied to borth wholesale and retail customers.

    Sometimes, potential buyers do not know where or how to find a product that meets one or another specific needs. In such situations, you can contact our experts and we shall find the product which you are looking for.

    We will find you any pair of shoes of any brand!

    On this page we will provide one of the samples of our products

    Our other websites:
    -[url=http://dtinvest.com/]cheap christian louboutin shoes sale[/url]
    -[url=http://a-bed.net/]christian louboutin replica[/url]
    -[url=http://ajaabney.com/]shoes from christian louboutin[/url]
    -[url=http://2short.us/]cheap louboutin outlet[/url]
    Market:

    [url=http://atkmarket.com/mbt]MBT[/url]
    Promo-code: #jhiiiiljkh-99999-hndfdf

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *